2017, A Look Back in Annoyance

29 December, 2017

It’s been a few years since the last one, but I’ve been thinking about the year with enough time to present my end-of-december review in the format of an award show.

As usual, there are no trophies on offer, but I am more than willing to email a PDF certificate to those winners who want something to stick to their fridge.

The Prince Harry Award for Excellence in Partying

HRH The Prince Henry of Wales

As usual, I feel reluctant to hand out this award before New Year's Eve, yet know that without a shadow of a doubt that the recipient won't let me down.

This year's winner is Hannah Stockfield, undoubtedly the most enthusiastic person I know; which is
a) impressive and,
b) so inspiring.

I've seen many games, bets and competitions take place at parties, but she still managed to show me a new one (even if she did lose it.) Hannah is one of those people with the ability to make everything more fun, which is everything you want in a partygoer.

In summary, you want to party with this girl.

The Fifteen Year Old School Leaver Award for Complete Disappointment

After the hights of Wonder Woman, DC Entertainment's Justice League movie fell back even further into mediocrity than expected; failing to deliver on almost every front. I know it's lurking in the shadow of Marvel and the Nolan Batman trilogy, but honestly I couldn't tell you what happened in this movie. It was just so ... blah.

I award it no points, and would not recommend.

The Defecating Penguin Award for Doing Cool Shit with me

A joint award this year, going to Tom Vine and Sarah Chan for our Queen's Birthday roadtrip to Canberra (amongst other adventures.)

Roadtrips are the best, and road trips that feature a ferry crossing are even better than the rest.

The Sir Leslie Patterson KBE AO Award for Patronising the Arts

I've been wanting to go see the NGV's Melbourne Winter Masterpieces for a few years now, but it never worked out, not this Year though! Annie Phelan joined me in viewing Van Gough and the Seasons, where we learnt that that man felt deeply, and that man felt subtly. My favourite painting may not have been a part of the exhibition, but there was a bunch of other works that were also great.

The Good Times Award for Greatest Altitude Achieved

In a year I have disappointingly neglected to climb any mountains, this award must, I suppose, go to my D&D Group on the grounds that we went to a Kingdom up in the mountains and didn't get thrown in the dungeons for letting our High Elf hit on the Dwarven King.

The "The Mountain Goats Award" for Making It Through This Year (Though It Killed You)

This award goes to everyone who overcame trials and tribulations in the past 12 months.

You've made it to 2018!


The Chairman Kaga Memorial Award for Fine Dining

Goes to a small group of strangers in their late 40s I saw eating cheese and drinking wine by torchlight at 10.30pm at Stephenson's Falls in Marysville all the way back in February.

and, finally, the coveted Copulating Jelly Baby Award for being Fucking Sweet:

A tough one this year, the 2017 Copulating Jelly Baby very nearly went to NASA - with the Cassini probe meeting a firey end in the turbulent depths of Saturn, and the safe arrival of Juno at Jupiter it's been an exciting year in planetary science.

But in the end, it has to go to the limited edition and extremely unofficial "Sorry for Moot Canada 2013" badge that came to me all the way from Iceland courtesy of Erin on the grounds that I have never been so excited to receive anything in the mail, ever.